


So On We Go

by elrhiarhodan



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Found Families, Gen, Grief, Grief/Mourning, Heroism, Hurt/Comfort, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-04 23:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6680887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/pseuds/elrhiarhodan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wally West figures it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So On We Go

**Author's Note:**

> After **Back to Normal** , I've finally gotten a handle on just who Wally West is. And he's not a dumb kid. He's going to piece together everything sooner or later. 
> 
> Note: Griffin Gray punched Barry in the face, and I'm kind of disappointed he didn't have a shiner, or at least a bruise as spectacular as Harry's. For this story, though, he does.

_So on we go_  
_His welfare is of my concern_  
_No burden is he to bear_  
_We'll get there_  
_For I know_  
_He would not encumber me_  
_He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

_**He Ain't Heavy ... He's My Brother**_ \- The Hollies

* * *

Three months ago, when his mother told him about Joe West, he had been so angry.

His whole life, he'd wanted a father. He wanted someone who'd be there for him, through thick and thin, who'd teach him how to shave, how to drive, how to ask a girl out, how not to get her pregnant.

His mother was wonderful and she'd tried to be both a parent and a friend and she'd worked hard to make sure there was nothing he lacked. But she couldn't fill that one essential role.

Wally almost hated her for her secrets. But how do you hate a dying woman? So he took his anger out on the man who didn't even know he existed.

Except it was hard to stay angry, not in the face of such determined affection. He could see that Joe West was a good man, the type of father he'd wished for whenever Francine took him to see Santa Claus before Christmas, on his birthday, whenever he saw a falling star, or a rainbow. He knew to his bones that if Joe had known that Francine was pregnant when she disappeared, he would have moved heaven and earth to find her, to find them. To make them a family.

And then there was Iris. Superhero Big Sister. That was his private name for her. She barely knew him but didn't hesitate to bust his ass _and_ come to his rescue. She was nothing like Francine, like their mom, but from the moment he met her, he knew they were family in the truest sense of the word. And as the days and weeks and months passed, Iris became something more, she became his friend.

There was one person in the West household that he couldn't make a connection with – the White Shadow, Barry Allen. The guy was downright _weird_. A nerd, certainly. Really intelligent, too. But just too strange in too many incomprehensible ways.

Wally couldn't lie to himself. He resented Barry Allen – the kid had Joe for a father, after all. Then Joe explained – Barry wasn't some random stray that Joe took in, Barry's family had been destroyed. His mother murdered, his father – who was innocent – jailed for that horrific crime. As bad as Wally had felt growing up, as much as he'd missed having a father, he _always_ had a mother who loved him, who did right for him, who loved him. Barry had lost that and that rocked Wally to the core of his jealous soul.

So he gave the dude some leeway. He watched and listened and even if he couldn't escape the feeling that the guy was registering ninety-nine on a weird meter that only went up to ten, Barry was all right. He didn't try to step in between him and Joe, and whatever relationship he had with Iris, that was something deep and powerful.

Barry's friends were nice – weird like Barry – but nice. According to Iris, Barry had met them when he'd been in a coma. Or more precisely, they'd been part of the team that had cared for him when he'd been in a coma and kept at S.T.A.R. Labs until he woke up. Then they became friends.

Maybe that was why the dude was so strange. He got struck by lightning and spent the better part of a year asleep. That, along with everything else, had to mess with anyone's head.

Then Zoom came. It should have been one of the best nights of his life – moving into Joe's house. Into his _dad's_ house, but then this monster came and took him away – he didn't know where – and told him that unless the Flash gave it what it wanted, he was going to die.

Wally couldn’t understand that. Why would the Flash lift a finger to save _him?_

But he did. Zoom took him to S.T.A.R. Labs. Joe and Iris were there, so were Barry's friends, Cisco and Caitlin. And the dude who'd visited Joe a few nights before. The creepy sort of guy who looked like the scientist who created all the meta-humans.

And so was the Flash. Standing there like the hero he was, telling Zoom that he'd give him his speed. And like that, he was free. Joe tossed him his car keys and he ran, then sped away.

Wally thought about going back to Keystone, or maybe to Star or Opal or even across the country to National City. Anyplace but Central with its pants-wearing sharks and its speed monsters.

He didn't, though. He went home and prayed like he had never prayed before. That his dad and his sister were safe, that the monster wouldn't come back, that this was all a bad dream.

But it wasn't a bad dream. A few hours later, Joe and Iris came home, Barry with them. At the time, he didn't think about that. He didn't remember seeing Barry at S.T.A.R. Labs, but he must have been there.

They all looked terrible, but no one blamed him. Joe hugged him hard enough to almost break some ribs, and for a while there, he thought that Iris actually had. Barry clapped him on the shoulder and said he was glad he was all right, then disappeared into his bedroom.

His dad and his sister gave each other a weird look, but Wally wasn't sure what it meant. He hadn't been around them long enough to be schooled in the West family's silent communications.

Joe insisted that he take his bed, and that they'd get the graffiti painted over tomorrow. Wally knew he probably should have told his dad he'd take the couch, but honestly, he was just too exhausted.

He spent the next few days kind of twitchy, waiting for the monster to come back, but eventually he relaxed. Iris and his dad seemed to be okay, and Barry was just as weird as ever. He was kind of quiet and easy to ignore, his appearance at meal times was brief and then he disappeared into his bedroom. Wally couldn't help but wonder if Zoom hadn't gotten to him, too.

But he couldn't stop thinking about the Flash and what he did. And why he did it.

The Flash knew his dad. That had to be it.

And it was. It took some begging, but Joe came through for him. He got to meet the Flash face-to-face. Or rather, face-to-masked-face, and from a distance. But that was all right. Wally couldn't imagine ever feeling better than he did at that moment, when he thanked this selfless hero for saving his life, when he promised the Flash that he wouldn't waste it. Wouldn't waste the great sacrifice the Flash made for him, for a stranger.

There would be no more street racing, no more ridiculous risks, no more living for the moment because there was always one more moment to be had. He knew now that there weren't infinite moments in his life, that the span his existence could be counted in the number of heartbeats it took to steal him out of his bed and toss him into a cell with no hope.

 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The house was quiet when he got home after his meeting with the Flash. Joe said he needed to go back to the station and finish up some paperwork and it didn't seem that the White Shadow – no, Barry – was home yet either.

He didn't want to sack out in his bedroom. It still smelled of the paint needed to cover Zoom's message. It didn't feel quite right. So he retrieved his books, his laptop and headed back down to the living room.

Coming down the stairs, he heard a sound and froze, his heart racing.

_Had Zoom come back?_

No, it was just Barry. The lighting in the entryway wasn't great, but it wasn't hard to miss the bruise on the man's face.

"You all right, dude?"

Barry nodded. "Yeah, fine."

"You sure? You look like you just went a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson."

Barry touched his cheek and winced. "Just walked into a door."

Wally had to ask again, "You sure? Because it looks like you were punched. Do I need to take care of this for you?"

Barry smiled and shook his head. "I'm really okay, Wally. But thanks. I can take care of myself."

Wally cast an eye over the man. Tall, thin, probably no muscle tone to speak of under those baggy clothes. "Maybe we could go to the gym sometime. I've done some boxing – could give you a few pointers."

Barry chuckled. "I think I'm a lost cause. When I was twelve, Joe taught me and Iris how to box. Your sister was able to beat the crap out of me. Probably still can. She could probably beat the crap out of you, too."

"Probably. But seriously, man – if someone's hurting you, you shouldn't just take it. You should tell Joe."

"Wally, it's all right. But thanks for worrying." Barry starting heading up the stairs and he was moving like an old man.

"You have dinner?"

"Not really hungry, but thanks."

"Was going to order a pizza – figured you'd want, Dad would want when he gets home. You sure?"

Barry sighed and turned around. "Sure, okay. Joe likes extra sausage and cheese, in case you didn't know. I'm fine with anything except pineapple."

"Great." He went into the kitchen grabbed the menu from to the fridge and called in the order. When he came back out, Wally was kind of glad to see that Barry hadn't retreated to his bedroom, but was looking at his engineering textbook.

"I never thanked you for your help with my application."

Barry shrugged. "No need. And I don't know how much help I actually was. I was kind of an asshole that night."

"You were, but that's okay. I get it."

"Get what?"

"You were feeling kind of weird. It was just you and Iris and Dad for so long, then I pop out of the woodwork and Dad's trying to get everyone to get along. I was feeling kind of weirded out, too."

"Yeah. It was a little strange, but that wasn't it. I had some things to deal with and they were kind of messing with my head."

"I can get that."

"How are you doing?"

It was Wally's turn to shrug, not quite sure what was the intent behind the questions. "Okay."

"Still miss your mom?"

"Yeah. It was just the two of us for so long, just us against the world. I know she had made a lot of mistakes and I can even get why she left and rebuilt her life. But I still miss her."

"You always will." Barry's voice was soft and almost too full of sympathy.

"I'm sorry about your mom. Dad told me about what happened. I can't even begin to understand that."

Barry didn't answer right away. But when he spoke, Wally knew his words came from his soul. "You know, I live with it every day. It made me what I am."

"Can I ask, what about your dad? Dad said he got out of prison when the real killer confessed."

There was another pointed silence and Wally regretted asking what was clearly such a painful question. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay. My dad couldn't really hang around. He spent so many years in prison, he needed to just get out and see the world. We're in touch, though. We talk a couple of times a week, he sends me pictures of where he's camping or staying. He hasn't disappeared, he just can't be here."

"I can get that." To his own ears, he knew how lame that sounded.

They fell into an awkward silence and Wally saw Barry move to get up. He didn't want him to leave. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Barry settled back down in the chair.

"What did Zoom do to you?"

"What?" Barry seemed shocked.

"I've been thinking - about that night." Wally took a deep breath. "Everyone was at S.T.A.R. Labs that night, everyone but you. Zoom had you, too. Didn't he?"

"No, of course not. I was working." Barry's answer seemed to facile. "Why would you think that Zoom had taken me?"

"Like I said, you weren't around. But everyone else was."

Barry shook his head and smiled, sort of. "Nope - got a late call-out. Joe told me what happened after everything went down. He and Iris swung by the precinct to pick me up."

Wally could smell the bullshit, but short of making an even bigger stink, he couldn't call Barry on it. For whatever reason, Barry didn't want him to know that Zoom had hurt him, too. And that was okay. It would have to be.

"Look, I really am kind of tired. I think I'm going to pass on the pizza, okay?"

"Okay." He had no choice but to agree, it wasn't like he could pin the guy to the chair and make him eat.

"Have a good night, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Wally watched Barry as he got to his feet, even more unsteady than he'd been before.

"Dude, you are really hurt."

But once again, Barry waved him off. "I'm fine." Barry was halfway up stairs when he turn around. "Wally - thanks. Thanks for caring."

Wally blinked. He knew that voice. He'd heard it just a few short hours ago, on a rooftop garden. It wasn't quite as deep or as resonant, but it was the same.

Suddenly, everything made sense.

Barry Allen, his weird not-quite-foster-brother, was the Flash.

 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sitting in the near-total darkness, Wally was able to put the pieces together like his favorite engine.

Barry always disappearing at odd moments, always managing to be at the right place at the right time even though the dude didn't have a car. Except when he was never around, like when a giant pants-wearing shark attacked the house.

But the Flash was there, so conveniently drawing the danger away.

Just as he was there to pull him out of his overturned car and to keep Iris from getting hurt worse than she had.

Just as the Flash was at S.T.A.R. Labs, willing to surrender his speed to Zoom in exchange for his life, and despite the presence of everyone one Barry's friends and family, Barry himself was nowhere to be seen.

Even Barry's injuries made sense. He probably went up against some criminal without having his powers and got his ass handed to him today.

And that thought made him kind of sick. And kind of proud.

The Flash was the protector of Central City, people relied on him - but the Flash didn't have his powers anymore and he was still out, trying protect everyone.

He didn't have his powers because he gave them up to save _him_. Earlier tonight, when he talked to the Flash, when he promised to not waste the gift he'd been given, Wally meant every word. But now, knowing just who the Flash was, seeing first hand what that gift had cost, it made his promise all the more dear.

The sound of a key in the lock startled him. It was his dad, coming home.

"Wally?"

"Yeah, just me."

"What are you doing, sitting in the dark?"

"Thinking."

Joe turned on the lights. "Interesting, your thinking process smells like extra cheese and sausage."

Wally smiled. "I ordered pizza, but decided to wait for you. It's in the oven, on low."

"Barry home?"

"Yeah. Said he was kind of tired and not really hungry. He went upstairs a little while ago."

Joe had taken off his coat and sat down next to him. "How did your meeting with the Flash go?"

Wally smiled. "It went fine, thanks for doing that for me."

His dad just nodded.

Wally wondered if he should tell him that he knew. But that didn't seem right, at least not so baldly. "Barry looks like he'd gotten beaten up pretty badly."

"He fell down some stairs at the precinct this morning. Barry is surprisingly clumsy."

Wally couldn't believe he was getting handed this so easily. "Really? Barry doesn't strike me that way."

But apparently he couldn't pull the wool over his dad's eyes. "What are you getting at, son?"

"Barry told me he walked into a door."

"Wally - "

"Dad, I know. I figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

"Who the Flash is."

"Don't, Wally. Don't go there."

"Dad - "

"Son, no. For your own sake, don't."

"It all makes sense now. What happened at the race track, the shark monster, saving me from Zoom."

Joe sighed and put his hands on his shoulder, making him look him in the eye. "Son, listen to me. And I don't know if this is going to make things better or worse for you, but the Flash did what he did not just because you're my son. Had Zoom picked up some random stranger off the street and threatened him, the Flash would have done the same thing."

That didn't surprise Wally at all. "I get it, I really do."

"Okay, good. And I'm going to ask you something and it's going to be pretty big, okay?"

Wally nodded.

"Don't say anything to Barry. He doesn't regret saving your life, but he feels the loss of his speed very deeply. He's hurting and he needs to adjust to being normal again."

"Dad, he'll never be normal." Wally smiled.

"Well, as normal as Barry Allen, super-nerd, can be."

"That's not what I mean. Barry will always be the Flash. He'll always be a hero. Just because he can't run fast anymore doesn't make him any less of one."

Joe - his dad - hugged him tight. "How did you get to be so smart?"

"Dunno."

"Good genes. And Francine raised you right."

Wally swallowed hard at that. "Yeah, she did."

 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

He had dinner with his dad, but shortly after they finished, Wally packed up his books and laptop. "Got an early class tomorrow. Think I'm going to turn in."

"Good night, son. Sleep well."

"Thanks, I think I will."

At the top of the stairs, Wally paused at a closed door. A thin blade of light was bleeding out from the bottom. Barry was still awake.

Wally debated about knocking, if just to wish him good night. But he didn't, because he knew that it wouldn't end with that simple gesture of good will. His dad was right. Barry needed time to heal.

And Wally would give him that time. But some day, hopefully soon, he'd get the chance to tell Barry - not that he knew his secret, because that didn't really matter right now - but that he would be proud to call him "brother".

 

 

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me at my tumblr [Obscene Circus Ponies](http://elrhiarhodan.tumblr.com/), and on my old school (and much beloved) [LiveJournal](http://elrhiarhodan.livejournal.com/) account.


End file.
